Indian Son Leaving Parents Home Is Like Committing Murder

February 26, 2019

I once read in Robert A. Johnson's (Balancing Heaven and Earth) book that Indians develop their own ego at a much later stage in life. This may be due to what the title refers to or may be that psychologically something else is being played out. With regards to the more slower development of an independent ego, one could say Indians are living their parent's desires, wishes, fantasies for a much larger proportion of time. One ultimate example of this is the sons who seem to struggle to leave their parent's house. Culturally for thousands of years the son would look after the family along with other responsibilities while living at home with them. The daughters would be married off and live with their husband's parents.


It feels like leaving home as an Indian man in modern day society is like the ultimate betrayal. After all your parents have done for you, their money to support you, their love towards you, their sacrifices... It's like slapping them on the face and putting up two middle fingers. You could probably name so many things that create guilty feelings within.


Whatever this responsibility is that plays out unconsciously, it seems inauthentic and selfish on a surface level, almost like not letting the son grow up to become a man (keeping them infantile like a boy) and leave independently without needing to look after ones parents. Deep down though something else is playing out and it is a struggle to name it. Something intuitively known and felt that one must stick by his parents side to return the support, love, money, sacrifices back - and a knowing of the loneliness/grief in the unconscious.


Does the ego ever really develop into full healthy maturity for an Indian boy?


Care homes are not an answer but are seen everywhere in western society (wtf is that about). Why do we lock up our oldest members of society and try to create distance from them like they are a disease?


Such a dilemma amongst western easterners, one wants to leave the parents to develop fully and individuate, at the same time one knows deep down that there is so much offered from elders - wisdom, knowledge, support, love - that is not available from other areas of life/society.


A proper mind-fuck and another difficulty faces towards as eastern-western hybrid =D










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