Racism and Self Hatred - PTSD Trauma

February 15, 2018


I remember the first time I was racially abused, just a child in the back seat of a car with my parents driving home. You don't need to know the details only the knowledge that there was an intense fear of dying around the chest area. I knew that day I was different but was not aware that it was because of my skin colour until I was older. As you grow up and experience more racism it feels like you take in all the racists hate/anger/pain/fear/shame/guilt/every other dark energy. It's like carrying their filth unknowingly so you share the same pain they are feeling.


The amount of anger you feel literally has no outlet in modern society, which is a huge problem. If you were to express your primal self you would probably end up in prison, you would certainly need to numb yourself (plenty of options to choose from)... Where do you go to express this rage? How do you release it without hurting another? A lot of the times we internalise it and turn all the hatred/fear/anger/pain against ourselves. Often this is what happens unconsciously and then often there is violence towards those of our own race. You hear a lot about black on black violence for example, a great way to keep people stuck in perpetual fear, fighting amongst themselves (ethnic cleansing).


I wonder how many coloured folk have PTSD, having their fight/flight system constantly on and living in constant alertness of possible dangers. Ready to experience another racist attack (verbal or physical) after previous incidents. I wonder how many men and women live in constant fear and anxiety because of racism. It is still rife and things like Brexit/Trump bring the topic more into consciousness, which is why incidents are increasingly rising. When the great leaders were assassinated for speaking up about the issues faced the subject has slowly been placed into the collective unconscious. You can tell it has been building now for too long in our cultural/collective shadow. Hidden away yet that does nothing to resolve the root causes and issues.


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